Dear The Australian

In the future please don't pay someone to write about film when they (a) utalise the phrase "Awkward Alert" in order to sound hip and snappy, (b) think Hollywood is another way of referring to the entire American film industry, (c) think Apatow comedies are about the limitations of institutionalised romantic commitment, (d) think Just Go With It and No Strings Attached will not have conventional happy-ever-afters and (e) call their mythical trend of realistic romcoms "extreme date movies".